The Shower Cap Of True and Utter Evilness
by siriuslives394
Summary: No one messes with Sirius's hair. No one.


A/N: Uh, yes, it contains nudity, but no pairings. Cause I don't write romance well. :) No spoilers. Cause, this is based waaaaaaaaay before DH. So, yeah.

DISCLAIMER: Here, I'll bargain with you, if I swear that I don't own any characters from Harry's era, can I have the one's from his parent's era? Please? No? Alright then. I don't own anyone, cause you don't bargain fairly.

**The Shower Cap Of True and Utter Evilness**

Sirius Black thought that he had encountered the ultimate evil upon meeting his cousin, Bellatrix. But, as he had recently discovered, he was wrong.

He had awoken that morning, only to find the himself covered in tapioca pudding. Despite what you may think, he was not curious as to _who _had pulled such a cruel and pudding wasteful prank on him. It was, doubtlessly, his friends. The Marauders, as they were called. For you see, Sirius was a notoriously late sleeper; and sometimes, his friends got fed up with having to try and wake him numerous times each morning. So, on occasion, he would awake to find something like this. Last time it was hippogriff droppings. Sirius much preferred the pudding.

He rose from bed, all pretence of actually attempting to get to History Of Magic _on time, _gone, and headed to the bathroom, ready to banish all traces of pudding from his person.

There was only one part of his body that the pudding had not touched: his hair. For each and every Marauder knew that to mess with Sirius' hair was to ignite the famous Black temper, and, therefore, sign his own death warrant.

Sirius head to the showers after grabbing his lemon scented body wash and sponge also, lest we forget, his shower cap. Sirius' shower cap was one other object that each and every Marauder knew was untouchable. For the shower cap touched his hair and messing with the shower cap meant messing with Sirius' hair, which is forbidden, as we have already made quite clear.

Every morning the house elves would replace the old shower cap with the new, right after they lit the Common Room fires. As it was such, Sirius didn't suspect anything as he gently pushed his hair into the cap.

He turned on the shower, waiting till it reached the perfect temperature, before stepping in. With all pretence of getting to History Of Magic _at all,_ gone, he began to lather. He was several minutes into his shower before he noticed anything odd. His scalp was getting a tingly feeling. Quickly, he stepped out of the shower. He rubbed his palm against the fogged up mirror, clearing it. Sirius peeled part of the shower cap back, only to see a horrific, mentally scarring, _terrible _thing. His hair. It was pink. And falling out. And frizzy. Some say that his screams could be heard from the dungeons.

Sirius assumed that it was his friends who had wronged him so grievously, and justly so, considering just _who _his friends were.

Without a thought concerning his current lack of clothing, Sirius dashed out of the bathroom. He ran through the, now empty, Common Room. He ran through the hallways, ignoring the stares (and sometimes wolf whistles and cat calls) that he received from older students who had a free period. It took several minutes before he reached the Slytherin/Gryffindor History Of Magic lesson.

The Marauders had just learned to accept that Sirius would not turn up for History Of Magic. In his opinion, it was time better spent sleeping. Due to this, you can imagine their surprise when he burst into the classroom. You can further imagine their surprise (and disgust) when they realized that this was done without clothing, with Sirius still wet from the shower. They were surprised more so when he came up to them, he looked stuck between fury and breaking out into tears. He began yelling gibberish at them, before he calmed him self enough to scream:

"What did you _do_?!"

It was only then that they noticed his hair, in all it's pink, patchy, frizziness. The Marauders sat in complete silence, knowing none of them had done it. It was also only then that Sirius seemed to realize where he was and what he _wasn't _wearing.

Sirius glanced around the room nervously; his classmates were getting over the shock of being presented with a naked Sirius. They began to giggle (or chuckle, as the boys would put it). Several of the girls put their heads together and began to whisper to one another, all the while glancing back at Sirius and giggling.

Sirius bolted. He tore out of the room at such a speed that you'd think he'd broke the sound barrier. The ghostly professor blinked twice at the disturbance and continued to drone on.

Of the whole class, only one boy sat still, and silent, with a smirk plastered on his face.

Severus knew that with a few kind words to a few house elves, and they'd be willing to replace a student's shower cap with one of Severus' own making. Severus had found the perfect potion for his cause while, as was usual, in the library. It was generally used to remedy older men of baldness. But, Severus had used it for his own twisted reason - revenge. Generally, only a very skilled Potion maker would be able to correctly brew this potion. Luckily for Severus (and unluckily for Sirius) he was himself was quite skilled in the art of potion making.

Severus had _never _imagined that Black would react so spectacularly to his damaged hair. He had expected screaming and crying at the most. Never a nude show in the middle of class.

Oh yes, Severus was quite pleased.

A/N: Oh yes, the author has consumed too much sugar. Now, Sirius is my favourite character, and it pains me to be so cruel, but I was feeling evil. Ah, I don't use a shower cap (got too much hair for one) and I dunno if they're reusable or if you need a new one each time. So, go with it.


End file.
